


I Thought My Questions Had No Answers

by jenguin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Flirting through food, Goblins and Fairies, Harry finds him, Harry hasn't been kind to himself, Loss of Parent(s), Louis is a bit lost, Louis will more than make up for that, M/M, New Family, Parent Louis, Past Abuse, Physical Transformation, Teacher Harry, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:03:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1911963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenguin/pseuds/jenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You like him, Lou.”</p>
<p>“What?! Don’t be ridiculous! He’s Rubes’ teacher, that’s all.  He’s been really nice to her and to us.  He’s a TEACHER!”</p>
<p>“Teachers deserve love too, Tommo!” quipped Niall.  “I think you have apologies to make, at the very least, ya insensitive bastard.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis is riding wave after wave of uncertainty and Harry helps him stay afloat while Louis helps Harry find himself again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought My Questions Had No Answers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [betheproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheproof/gifts).



> This is my fic exchange for howlouvely. I hope I was able to fulfill some of your requests about co-workers flirting and a happy ending with a wedding. The story did start to take on a life of its own at some stage and I didn't have a Louis to keep me on track :)

Louis watched fondly as the teacher spoke softly to Ruby, helping her organise her schedule to fit in homework and the football practice she’d just started. The teacher’s kind, green eyes searched Ruby’s blue ones to gauge whether she was feeling overwhelmed but Ruby smiled back at Mr. Styles in response and Louis is sure both men gave a little sigh of relief that this damaged little girl was beginning to come back to life.

His mind whirled back to the time, just 3 months ago, he’d been a struggling and mostly-out-of-work actor in London, going out with his friends, drinking probably too much, definitely spending too much money on clothes and not enough on food and occasionally seeking affection in the arms of a cute boy for the night. He can’t believe how different his life is now, by comparison.

Now he had a lovely little girl in his life, his sister Ruby. Only 8 and very much the surprise for his parents when she had come along when their eldest was already 15. She’d been quite the princess for her whole life, with an older brother and sister, Tilly, 11 years older than she. Ruby had lived a relatively comfortable life, having come along when their parents were a lot more financially stable and having pretty much missed the dramatic period of Louis’ “Enormous Sexuality Crisis” when he had been 17. 

Louis’ Mum had often sung, “Isn’t She Lovely” to Ruby at bedtime because, to them, she was their little miracle and perhaps that’s why Ruby had so much further to fall than Louis and Tilly, when both parents had been tragically taken in the car accident on the wet streets of Doncaster. Perhaps that’s why she still had nightmares about being left at school and not picked up that rainy afternoon. Ruby was a little girl with a lot of questions that she couldn’t even put into words yet and it was now Louis’ job to answer those questions.

“Here you go Mr. Tomlinson.” smiled Mr. Styles, handing him the colour-coded after school schedule that the two had just finished. “If you hang this up near Ruby’s bedroom door, she’ll know which items to get ready for the day, according to the colours on the timetable.”

Louis smiled at the man who had helped Ruby so much since she had begun her new school 2 months ago. He had given Louis regular updates, given Ruby extra help and now he was even helping Louis with parenting and organisational tips. He really was a Godsend, often seeing the areas where Louis and Ruby were struggling even before they asked a question. 

“Well, Rubes, thank Mr. Styles and we had better get going. Mr. Styles, thank-you again so much mate, I really appreciate your time and effort here. I know you don’t have to do it, you probably have so many other better things to do!”

The smile flickered off Harry Styles’ face for a slight second before regaining its place as he held out his hand and simply said, “My pleasure Mr, Tomlinson, really. But listen, seeing as we’re spending a few more sessions together after school, please call me Harry, ok?”  
“Of course, Harry.” smiled Louis, who actually had hated calling the slightly younger man by his formal title but it was just the way things were done here at Hermitage Primary. “And please call me Louis, too, I always feel a bit TOO old with the ‘Mr. Tomlinson’ moniker!”. 

Both men smiled as Louis helped Ruby grab up her things and they headed out through the school. 

“Rubes I just have to drop off this form in the Admin, ok?” 

“What is it, Lou?” she asked quietly.

Louis laughed. “Well you won’t believe it, Princess, but I’ve signed up to be a helper in the canteen with the new program of healthy school lunches…….” Louis paused to look at the little girl who had stopped, stock-still in the hallway, mouth agape with an expression of pure shock.

“Don’t look so horrified, Peanut! I’m doing it for YOU so I learn how to cook better meals for you!” Louis laughed.

“Um, Lou, do they KNOW about you? Have they done, like, an interview or anything? Have they seen our KITCHEN?!” Ruby replied with a half-smiling and half-serious look.

“Oh, give it off, will you! I haven’t set fire to anything in DAYS and there are actual fruits in the crisper, thank-you very much! C’mon troublemaker!” laughed Louis as he dragged the giggling girl down to Admin before heading off home.

~~~

Louis was glad that he had a new project to put his time into, actually. He had chosen to only work part-time at the local movie theatre so that he could always be on hand to drop-off and pick up Ruby every afternoon. It wasn’t like they needed the money after the settling of their parents’ estate, but Louis felt it was necessary for his sanity to work. Besides, how else would he have met the mad Irishman, Niall, who had become both his and Ruby’s best friend?

Niall came from a family of boys and so found it endlessly amusing to play games with Ruby that involved, more often than not, make-up, high heels, teacups and dollies. Louis thought that Niall was the best sport out of anyone he’d ever known. Honestly, Louis thought, he was just SO lucky to have found some genuinely wonderful people to be there for Ruby when Louis couldn’t. Not that he was falling apart or anything, really he wasn’t, but now that life was a bit more settled and less frantic, Louis found himself waking up in the middle of the night sometimes worrying whether he was doing the right thing by Ruby and by himself. 

 

He knew that Ruby couldn’t have gone to live with their grandparents, they weren’t young anymore and couldn’t handle either the rambunctious kid she USED to be, nor the withdrawn and troubled one she was currently. There was no question, really, Louis was “it”. It’s just that he felt SO inadequate and SO unprepared and …….. well, so lonely. 

~~~

The training course for the “Healthy Lunches Project” was absolutely bloody exhausting, frustrating and embarrassing. Apparently everyone in the WORLD knew what whisking was, except him. Luckily, the head caterer, Judy, was a friendly and motherly type who immediately took Louis under her ample-bosomed wing and treated him like her own long-lost (rather useless) son.

Under Judy’s tuition Louis learned how to prepare actual fresh vegetables (who knew you had to “top and tail” fresh beans!?), make some simple soups, salads and pasta dishes. Ruby stopped poking her food looking for burnt bits or eyeing it suspiciously like it might be an alien organism and was actually starting to look forward to meal times. Seeing her eat an entire meal was strangely rewarding and Louis found that Niall “dropped in” around meal times more often than was coincidence.

During lunch prep one day, Louis noticed Judy putting particular effort into a plate of salad. “Special order?” he queried. 

“Mmmm, kind of, Love.” she murmured rather mysteriously. “Just someone who needs a bit of TLC I think.”

Louis shrugged and went back to his vegetable washing and peered over at the other volunteers doing unfathomable things with sheets of pasta that would, eventually, become lasagne. Wizardry, plain and simple. 

~~~

The Tomlinson’s routine settled once again, with work, volunteering and the after-school sessions with Harry. He was quite the enigma, Louis thought, not for the first time. So softly spoken and gentle with the kids who obviously loved him and, yet, there was something so sad behind those wide, green eyes. He was patient to a fault as he explained some kind of algorithm to Ruby and Harry took in the younger man’s stocky build, mop of unruly curls and quirky baggy clothes. Louis almost laughed as he realised that Harry looked somewhat like his father’s favourite Doctor, Number 4, Tom Baker.

“What are your plans for the evening, Harry?” asked Louis conversationally as Ruby gathered her things. 

“Um, well, nothing much, just some marking I guess, see what rubbish is on tv.” Harry replied politely. 

“Lou, can Mr. Styles come over for dinner at ours? PLEASE?” blurted Ruby.

“Well, Harry, would you care to join us? It’s the least we can do for all the time you’ve put in with Ruby these last few weeks. It won’t be anything gourmet, I can assure you!”

“But at least you won’t die!” exclaimed Ruby, grabbing at her throat and choking. Harry and Louis both stared at Ruby for a second, seeing a tiny glimpse of the mischievous kid she used to be. 

“Well, with such a high recommendation, I can hardly refuse!” smiled Harry. 

So with numbers and address exchanged, Louis and Ruby set off to buy ingredients for her teacher’s special dinner. Louis thought the Chicken breast wrapped in parma ham would do just nicely. Maybe with a side of mash, yes, good.

~~~

Dinner was a very enjoyable fare and Louis smiled frequently at the gentle way Harry had with Ruby, getting her to eat all of her dinner and coaxing smiles out of her on many occasions. She even went for her bath and to bed without pouting or resistance which HAD to be a first!

“Glass of wine before you go, Harry?” 

Harry smiled and agreed and the two settled on the lounge and shared small-talk that rapidly became more animated as the pair discussed sports teams, music tastes, games and more. 

“I just can’t play games with people who don’t play games!” exclaimed Louis dramatically, earning him a loud laugh from Harry. 

“You know, you’ve done a great job with Ruby.” Harry stated quietly after a lull in conversation about who the best boybanders were. I mean, Robbie Williams of-fucking-course, not even a question.

Louis jerked his eyes up, “God no, I haven’t! I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time! I’m barely capable of being a Dad let alone a Mum as well!”

“Well I think that most people wouldn’t have given up their life and made a child their focus the same way that you have. So you should feel proud of yourself, really.”

Louis, uncomfortable with the praise, tried to turn the conversation. “So, Harry, how about you? Married? Kids? Harem of nubile maidens?”

Harry managed to look uncomfortable and amused at the same time. “No, none of them, I’m afraid. And not in the foreseeable future I guess.” His voice trailed off in the end, indicating to Louis that it was probably best to leave this topic alone. “Hey, “ Harry continued. “Good job on the non-poisonous dinner by the way, I really enjoyed it.”

Louis laughed his thanks and took in the sincerity in Harry’s eyes, they really were quite pretty eyes, he thought. “Well you can thank Judy for that, she’s a champ, she is. Taught me everything I know, I’ll be the new Jamie Oliver before you know it!” 

“Oh, Judy?” Harry questioned. “She’s so lovely, sends me up a special meal to the classroom every day. She’s a treasure.”

“Oh YOU’RE the mystery secret-salad recipient!? Why don’t you come down to the cafeteria, mate? A big bloke like you needs more than a bit of salad don’t you think?” Louis laughed.

And ……… just like that, Harry’s open, smiling face crumpled right before Louis’ eyes. If Louis had ever seen someone radiate hurt more from their eyes, then he can’t remember when. Harry’s huge eyes filmed over and he bit down hard on his full bottom lip. 

“Mate, um, I didn’t mean ……….” Louis started.

“Yeah, no it’s ok Louis. Listen I should be going, yeah? School tomorrow …….”

“Right, yeah, listen, shit, sorry. Verbal diarrhoea, me. I wasn’t taking the piss, promise.”

“s’fine Louis, not like it isn’t true.” Harry mumbled as he grabbed his coat and gave a watery smile before heading out the door. 

“Fuck!” Louis thumped his head against the closed door. Judy had said that Harry, he now knew, needed some TLC, why hadn’t he shut his damn mouth? 

~~~

“So Rubes tells me you had a hot date with her teacher last night, Lou?” teased Niall after Ruby had been tucked in for the night.

Louis ran his hand through his artistically messy fringe. “Yeah, not a date, just dinner to thank him for his help. Fucked it up though.”

Louis explained to Niall how it had all been super friendly, talking about music, movies, tv and sports until Louis had inadvertently called Harry a fat arse. Louis gave Niall a blow-by-blow description of how ruined Harry’s facial expression had become and ended with a regretful sigh.

After an uncomfortable silence, Louis looked up into Niall’s amused eyes. “What are ya laughing at?” He bit out. 

“You like him, Lou.”

“What?! Don’t be ridiculous! He’s Rubes’ teacher, that’s all. He’s been really nice to her and to us. He’s a TEACHER!”

“Teachers deserve love too, Tommo!” quipped Niall. “I think you have apologies to make, at the very least, ya insensitive bastard.”

“I am NOT crushing on Harry fucking Styles, Niall! And, yes, I do have to think of a way to apologise but not because I ‘like’ him!”

“What’s his name?” interrupted Niall.

“Harry Styles …… the ‘fucking’ is not his official middle name”.

“Why does that name sound familiar?” Niall said to no-one in particular and put on his best impression of a thoughtful face.

After Niall left, Louis thought long and hard about how he might make it up to the teacher who had made room for them in his life and was making school a safe place to fall for Ruby. Someone who believed in both of them and was going above and beyond the call of duty. Louis was definitely going to fix this.

 

~~~

“Hey Juuuuuuddddeeee,” sang Louis one day while chopping vegetables. 

He was rewarded with a thwack to the arm but a grin on the face of the older woman. “Watch yerself you cheeky monkey. Ready for that souffle instruction I promised?”

Louis threw a hand to his forehead and pretended to faint dead away at the very thought, making all of the kitchen staff laugh.

“You’re proper dramatic, Louis, love. What did you need?”

“I was just wondering about why you make a special salad each day for Ruby’s teacher, Harry? You said he needed some TLC and I wondered why?”

Judy paused what she was doing and Louis could definitely see a bit of conflicted emotions on her soft face before she spoke. “Love, I don’t like to gossip and I ESPECIALLY don’t want to gossip about our lovely Mr. Styles. Suffice it to say he’s had a bit of a rough trot these past 2 years but he seems to be acting a little bit more like himself lately and I just want him to know that there are people who care and who are kind.”

“Did he get dumped by a girlfriend or something?” queried Louis.

“Not a GIRLfriend, no……..” Judy trailed off, leaving the unspoken words for Louis to catch hold of quite easily. “There’s more to it than that, though, but it’s just not my place to speak of it. One thing I will say, though, Harry’s smile does seem to be that little bit wider on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” And with that, Judy went back to her highly secretive business of making a Quorn Korma which may or may not involve an actual cauldron.

It wasn’t lost on Louis that it was, in fact, Tuesdays and Thursdays when he and Ruby had their after-school sessions with Harry and that there was an implication in Judy’s words that he wasn’t really ready to think about too deeply at this point. What he DID want to do, however, was make it up to Harry.

“Judy? Do you think I could make Harry’s lunch for a few days? I want to say thank-you for all he’s done for Rubes. Promise I won’t mess it up.”

Judy laughed, said she trusted him MOST with ingredients that didn’t involve fire and showed him some ingredients set aside just for Harry that, together, made lovely and low-fat lunches.

Louis set to work making the salad, a nice Greek salad today, but it was going to be all in the presentation. Louis arranged the ingredients on the plate in a big smiling face with cherry tomatoes for cheeks, olives for eyes and feta squares for teeth. Not a bad effort he thought to himself. He wrapped the plate and placed it on the bench beside Judy who smiled so widely, Louis thought he might get lost in the wrinkles beside her eyes.

“That’s lovely, dear, now you take it down, be a pet.”

And that was how Louis found himself walking, nervously, to the familiar classroom and yet strangely quiet with all the kids out to lunch and play. 

“Come in.” Harry called in answer to Louis’ knock and looked up with wide-eyed surprise to see Louis.

“Um, yeah, Judy asked me to bring you this, Harry. How you doin’ today?”

“Fine thanks, Louis. Thank-you for bringing my lunch.” 

And just like that, Harry went back to his marking without looking up again at Louis or even at his lunch. 

“See ya then…. .. actually, see you tomorrow after school, Harry.” said Louis, who was only rewarded with a small nod of the head, making the curls bounce almost imperceptibly. 

~~~

“I KNEW I’d heard that guy’s name before!” crowed Niall, later that night, shoving a DVD into the machine.

“What are you going on about, tool?” Louis ruffled Niall’s hair affectionately. 

Niall just laughed uproariously, causing Ruby to come out of her room.

“What’s so funny?” she asked and Niall pulled her onto the lounge and gestured for Louis to join them. “My kid brother played violin in an inter-school Arts Night a few years ago, thought I’d show you some of it.” Louis and Ruby looked at each other, puzzled, but the three sat down to the opening strains of some rather ear-splitting sounds of a twinky kid singing “Hey There Delilah”.

“He might as well give up his dreams right now” muttered Louis, scrunching his face over the murdered song.

Niall just laughed and buzzed the DVD forward a bit, thankfully saving the trio from other torturous performances.

“Here it is, the Year 3’s from Hermitage with their dance number.”

Louis inwardly groaned, earning a slap from Ruby. Ok, he must have outwardly groaned, so sue him. They watched the kids dance across the stage with faltering steps, trying to look delicate and fairy-like until a band of vicious goblins approached from the side led by …….. well, well, well, a VERY delicious goblin indeed! 

Obviously one of the teachers, clad in tight black leggings that showed at least a mile of long, slim leg. A ripped green tunic only JUST covering his modesty (“Dammit!” thought Louis.) but showcasing his strong shoulders. The teacher was about as graceful as a giraffe on a frozen lake but he was giving it his all, leaping and bounding towards the petrified fairies with his minions following behind. 

Louis sat transfixed during the short dance number, watching the ebb and flow of the, admittedly rather engaging, dance number (and not just because of the fit boy, no!) until the final movement when he whipped off his ripped, brown hat to reveal his full head of bouncy curls.

Ruby and Louis gasped simultaneously. 

“That’s Mr. Styles!” 

Niall laughed, “Yeah! Harry Styles! I know him! Well, sorta! I remembered his name being mentioned after this thing. A teacher who made all the girls swoon, they talked about him for DAYS, some of the mums were going to swap their kids into Hermitage just so they could see him again!”

Niall took in both of the Tomlinson’s shocked expressions and laughed uproariously. “You should see your faces! Now I see your interest, Tommo!”

“Well he doesn’t look quite the same now …….” trailed off Louis. “Not quite as …. fit and slim. And I haven’t heard of any Arts Night either……” Louis was frankly too shocked to say more, and that’s a rare occurrence for him.

After farewelling Niall later that night, Louis lay in bed and couldn’t get the images of Harry’s dancing out of his mind. He had been a spectacular beauty. His smile would have lit the hall even without spotlights and even his “scary goblin face” reminded Louis more of a grumpy kitten than anything else. 

He wondered who had hurt Harry so badly that he had withdrawn and created a literal and metaphorical barrier around himself. The question played on Louis’ mind numerous times before he fell asleep dreaming of a fit goblin chasing fairies.

~~~

Louis was a little anxious about the after-school session the next day, given the way things had been left after dinner the other night, but he was determined to make amends. 

As he entered the classroom, he heard the unmistakable tones of a VERY whiny Ruby Tomlinson in full “begging mode”.

“Please, Mr. Styles, please, PLEASE!!!!”

The look on Harry’s face flitted from refusal, to horror and to embarrassment in front of Louis’ eyes.

“Hey now, Rubes, what are you pestering Mr. Styles about? Haven’t heard you this rowdy in a while!”

“Louis!” exclaimed the little girl. “I was just telling Mr. Styles how we saw the show he put on last night!”

And, oh ……… uh oh. If Louis thought Harry was giraffe-on-ice when dancing, then this was another Disney-like caricature of Bambi-caught-in-headlights!

Louis laughed nervously explaining how his mate had brought over a DVD of his brother and they had accidentally seen the Hermitage performance.

“AND!!!!” exclaimed Ruby. “I was asking Mr. Styles if we could do something for the next one! Please Mr. Styles!?” she looked up at Harry with her enormous blue eyes peeping out from under her long lashes and a little pout on her lips. 

Louis almost laughed at the “signature move” he’d taught his sister when she had wanted their parents to buy her a CD one time at the store. “Lou, if I don’t have that CD, I will DIE!” she had pouted dramatically. And so Lou had shown her how to win an argument with super-duper-cute.

He WASN’T so sure she was winning Harry over, however, as he just seemed SO uncomfortable with Ruby’s over-the-top enthusiasm.

“She used to be in several arts classes at her last school,” Louis tried to explain. “Dance, drama, singing. She hasn’t shown much interest in it for a while ……”

Harry looked up at Louis and then at Ruby again before sighing, “Ok, maybe, I’ll talk to the other teachers about it.”

Ruby whooped with excitement before begging to be allowed to go to the toilet before she did any work.

“You really don’t have to if you don’t want to, Harry, don’t feel pressured.”

Harry looked over at Louis with nothing short of fear in his eyes and Louis crossed the room, putting his hand on the man’s arm. 

“I can help out if you want?”

“It’s not that I can’t do it.” Harry said in a soft voice. “I just ….. it’s been a while since I did that and ……….. things have changed, I’m not the same.”

“Hey, Harry……” Louis sat down in Ruby’s desk so that he could look Harry in the eyes. “You’re the same in all the ways that count. The kids love you, they have fun with you, they’d love nothing more than to spend more time with you, I am sure. And you won’t be on your own, ok?”

“Alright…….” Harry responded with a small smile that definitely did NOT make Louis’ heart skip a tiny beat at the hopefulness hidden there.

~~~

Nothing more had been said about the Arts Night since the discussion a few weeks ago but Louis continued his endeavour of making Harry’s lunches into something smile-worthy. One day he created quite the Mona Lisa out of slices of ham, tomato and cheese. Well, it may have been more a Picasso but who was anyone to judge!? Over the next few weeks he made mountains out of lettuce, cars out of capsicums, skyscrapers out of carrots and even the “Creature from the Black Lagoon”, starring some particularly delicious avocado.

Judy watched over each day’s preparation but largely left Louis to his own devices. One day, as he was balancing an impertinent piece of baby corn on the plate in an attempted recreation of the Eiffel Tower, she came over. “Louis, dear?”

Louis stopped work to look at Judy expectantly. What he saw was an unsure smile on the woman’s face. 

“I was just wondering, love, why are you doing all this for Harry? I mean, it’s been weeks now……”

Louis’ brow furrowed with thought as he realised, yes, it HAD been weeks and he guessed that Judy was thinking that his reason of “thanking” Harry had probably worn thin by now. 

At his expression, Judy rubbed his arm and smiled. “Just go gently, Louis. He’s been hurt an awful lot in the past,emotionally and physically.” 

Louis’ eyebrows shot through the roof at the mention of the word “physically” before Judy continued.

“He hasn’t wanted anyone to get close to him for a while, even pushed his friends away, the silly cupcake. But, Louis, he has the biggest heart out of anyone I know. Well, ONE of the biggest hearts.” she amended, looking at Louis. “He really needs someone to treat him well, love.”

Louis blushed and ducked his head down and smiled at the plate as he finished up, feeling stupidly giddy like a teenager for just a moment as he heard Judy giggle and mutter something like, “Twitterpated” under her breath as she walked away. 

With the Eiffel Tower constructed, Louis took the plate to Harry’s room, finding him alone and marking as usual. 

“Hi Harry, here’s your lunch from Judy.” Louis smiled.

“Thanks Louis, I appreciate it.”

As Louis was about to walk out the door, Harry said, “You know, I went down to thank Judy personally the other week for all of her care and kindness.”

Louis blanched just a little.

“Yeah and um, I asked her how she had time to make these little artistic creations every day ……”

“Oh?” queried Louis, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yeah, so, she said, and I quote, “Oh you silly billy, I DON’T have time for such things. But a certain SOMEONE does!” So, um, I was wondering, is that ‘someone’, you?”

Louis honestly felt a little light-headed at the straight-forward confrontation but managed to squeak out a “Yeah.” And walked back in to sit down, glancing up at the storm of emotions flitting across Harry’s face.

“Why though? Why are you going to all this trouble? For me?”

Not wanting to beat around the bush with this boy who wore his emotions so close to the surface, Louis decided to speak the truth. He told Harry that it had started out as a way to apologise for his massive faux pas that night after dinner and that it had then, quite frankly, changed into a challenge to get Harry to smile each day. 

Harry remained silent, staring intensely at Louis in a way that, if it hadn’t been Harry, might have made Louis worried that Harry was a bit of a serial killer. 

“So, um, Harry ….. is that ok? Like, if it upsets you, I can stop? It’s just that you kinda have one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen and I’d PRETTY much do anything to put it on your face …….” Louis trailed off and looked up from the ground where he’d been examining the ugly lino pattern of the floor into Harry’s face where his eyes were clouded in unshed tears. As he watched, an enormous one escaped the confines of those huge eyes and made its way down Harry’s smooth cheek. 

Without thinking, Louis stood up, walked over to the younger man and caught the tear on his finger. “None of that now. I told you I wanted to make you SMILE, love, not cry.” Louis moved his hand from Harry’s cheek to run through the mop of mahogany curls. Harry unconsciously tipped his head towards Louis’ hand with eyes closed and more tears escaping from under his long lashes. 

Louis left his hand buried in Harry’s warm curls and crouched down level with Harry and waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, Louis smiled softly, looking Harry straight into his eyes and hoping to convey words of reassurance as he leaned closer. When he saw Harry’s eyes become impossibly larger with uncertainty, Louis whispered, “It’s ok.” before pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s plump lips.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds but Louis felt like the whole world had just shifted on its axis. He’d kissed his sister’s teacher. The teacher who’d been so kind to them for months, giving up his time purely for the benefit of Ruby’s settling in. Louis searched Harry’s face for signs that he thought the kiss was a mistake …….. and found none. The flicker of fear in Harry’s eyes was overcome in an instant by a smile as wide as the ocean and, oh …….. dimples! Louis moved his hand from Harry’s curls and poked the little indentation causing the smile to get even deeper, if at all possible. 

Louis breathed out. “So ……..”

“Mmhmm, so, ……..?” responded Harry. 

“Well, Mr. Styles, this kind of changes things, yes?” Louis smiled as he placed his hand on the man’s thigh. “How would you like to try dinner at our place again tonight? I’d like to see more of you, if that’s not too weird?”

“No, um, not weird. Well, a BIT weird, but nice.” Harry ducked his head to look at Louis’ hand on his thigh and smiled widely once again. “Yes, thankyou, I would like that very much. BUT …. um, no more “Mr.Styles”, ok?”

Louis nodded and stood up to leave with a smile plastered all over his face. As he reached the door he turned around to quip, “We could just leave the “Mr.Styles” for times when I’ve been a naughty, NAUGHTY boy!” And closed the door quickly, but not before he heard a loud guffaw coming from the room behind him. 

To say that Louis floated through the rest of the day would be an understatement. Ruby asked repeatedly what was wrong, “Why are you so HAPPY, Lou??? You’re grinning like the Cheshire Cat!” which earned a snort of laughter from Louis and a responding eye-roll from the 8-year-old. 

~~~

To say that Louis was proud of his dessert creation would be an understatement. Who knew chocolate was so hard to curl? And were those peaches REALLY the exactly right shade that he needed? And those grapes, yes they were green but they weren’t the PERFECT green but they’d do. 

After a very pleasant dinner, Louis nervously brought out the 3 identical fruit desserts and placed Harry’s and Ruby’s down first. Harry tore his eyes from Louis’ nervous face to the place and laughed loudly at the Harry-inspired fruit creation in front of him. Ruby clasped her hand over her mouth and muttered, “Oh my goodness Lou!” before bursting into laughter herself. 

“Not quite as sweet as the real thing, I expect.” Louis smiled and proceeded to select pieces of Harry’s “face” to teasingly eat, much to Harry’s blushing amusement. Harry squealed every time Ruby ate a piece of “him”, causing her to grow beet-red with laughter and not be able to finish before it was her bed time. 

After yet another drama-free bedtime, due to Harry’s patient persistence, earning the comment, “Yer a wizard, ‘arry.” from Louis, the two men settled on the lounge with a glass of wine and a substantial case of nerves.

“Dinner was lovely, Louis, really lovely ….. and not poisoned again!”

Louis laughed overly loudly, betraying his nerves. “So, Harry, what’s happening with the Arts Night?” he said, trying to diffuse his nerves.

“Ah well, we’re going to start preparations next week actually. Both classes of Year 3’s are going to be involved with a couple of main actors. We’ll do auditions for them soon. It was a bit of a rush to get organised but I think we’re good to go now.” Harry smiled. “Do you think you’ll still be able to help out?”

Louis nodded and listened with a smile as Harry talked about his idea being about the ocean this year with a bit of an environmental message. As he talked, Louis put his empty wine glass on the table and shuffled a little closer. He reached out to take Harry’s empty glass, leaning closer as he did so. Harry continued talking, looking at his hands and beginning to ramble before Louis enclosed Harry’s hands in his own, finally causing Harry to still.

“Wow, your hands are HUGE” remarked Louis with a smile. “and trembling! Are you scared of me?”

“No, not really ….. just a bit ……..it’s been a while.” Harry mumbled and tried to pull his hands away but Louis held fast and moved even closer to Harry.

“Can I kiss you now?” Louis whispered.

Harry nodded slightly, running his tongue over his pink lips before Louis pressed his slightly parted mouth to Harry’s. Louis smiled at the contact and felt Harry’s answering smile. Their lips moved slowly as Louis brought his hands up Harry’s sides, feeling the younger man shiver under his touch. 

Louis deepened the kiss, pushing Harry further back against the arm of the chair and pressing their bodies together, eliciting a low moan from Harry which, in turn, sent shivers right down to Louis’ core. Louis snaked his hand underneath Harry’s shirt but felt Harry freeze and stop kissing. 

Louis pulled back a little to look at Harry’s face, “Everything ok, sweetheart?”

“Lou ….. I’m not …….. I’m not very …...I’m…..”

“Beautiful, Harry, you’re beautiful.” whispered Louis, kissing Harry after every statement. “You’ve made Ruby happier that I could have hoped for in the last few months (kiss), you’ve helped me do things I NEVER thought I’d be able to do (kiss) and now you’re letting me be with YOU (kiss). With your gorgeous green eyes (kiss) and soft, soft lips (kiss) and your big heart (kiss). You don’t need to feel afraid, ok? (kiss)”

Harry closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, releasing the tension he’d been feeling and nuzzling his nose into the crook of Louis’ neck, pressing kisses there. “I should go Lou.” Harry mumbled between kisses. 

Louis nodded and stood up from the lounge. Both men readjusted themselves with a smile before walking to the door. 

Harry looked at Louis, with his eyes shining. “I had a lovely time, Louis. Best time in a really long time actually, thankyou.” Harry leant down slightly to warmly kiss the slightly shorter man, cupping Louis’ cheek in his large, warm hand as he did so. 

“There’s more where this came from, Curly.” smiled Louis.

“I certainly hope so.” responded Harry, grinning like he’d won a prize at the fair. 

~~~

Louis stands, looking out the window at the people arriving through the doorway below and he smiles at a memory. He remembers the evening, almost a year ago, when he’d done the very same thing while waiting for the culmination of months’ of hard work from Harry, Louis, the Year 3 kids and many more volunteers for the inter-school arts night. He’d stood, nervously waiting for the parents to enter the Hall to watch their little angels perform. 

Harry’s idea had been a huge hit and the ooh-ing and ahh-ing of parents was very satisfying. Seeing Ruby in the centre of the stage playing the part of an octopus was rather tear-inducing, he had to admit. Ruby had come a long way because of that stage production. The loud, dramatic, Princess Ruby had almost fully returned and Louis put a great deal of the credit for that on Harry’s broad shoulders. 

Louis lowers his eyes as a blush creeps up his neck thinking about what else happened that night, after the concert. After Ruby had been whisked off for the weekend with their grandparents and Louis had convinced Harry to come back to his place for the night. Months of working together on the performance, family dates with Ruby and some couples dates too when Niall could be convinced to babysit, and their relationship was ready for the next step.

A LOT of thought had gone into this night. Louis had purchased candles and even new sheets, thinking that his Spiderman sheets might not QUITE give the right impression. Harry had been as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof but Louis had plied him with a few drinks and had kissed the resistance right out of him. Louis had never gone as slowly with a man as he did that night and it still sticks in both of their minds as their best time ever. 

Louis had kissed away all of Harry’s insecurities about his body, kissed away the pain he’d suffered at the hands and fists of his ex-boyfriend. In return, Harry had wrapped Louis in the warmth, love and stability that he so sorely needed in his life. Louis had opened up Harry’s body with both his tongue and his fingers before pushing into him slowly, whispering words like “I love you.” and “You’re so beautiful Harry.” and “You feel amazing, love.”.

Harry had surprised Louis by being incredibly responsive and vocal and, when he came, Louis was quite certain he’d never seen such a beautiful sight in his life. It was the first night of passion they shared but definitely not the last and Louis has to do some wriggling around to get comfortable in his fitted suit at the memory.

“LOU-IS!” screeches a voice from outside the closed doors, and Louis smiles and turns as a hurricane in tulle and sequins crashes through, grasping the hand of a red-cheeked Niall. 

“Ruby, love, take a breath and calm down for me, ok?” says Louis.

Niall walks close to Louis and whispers conspiratorially, “She’s batshit insane, man, she’s high on sugar fumes or something!” and both men laugh at the “delicate little princess” who is whirling around the room like a dervish. 

“So, you ready? Everyone else is good to go.” queries Niall. 

“Yep ….. yeah …… don’t even need to ask the question, mate. Let’s get out there. Ruby, go find Nanna Anne and Aunty Gem, ok?” 

Louis takes in a deep breath as Niall claps him on the back and the two make their way to the front of the awaiting crowd. 

Louis looks around the small crowd, sharing a smile with his grandparents and sister before the music starts and Ruby reappears from the back of the seated crowd and walks down the long pathway, sprinkling red and white rose petals as she goes. She smiles serenely at the guests, none of whom would even guess at the emotional roller coaster this little girl had been on in the last 2 years. 

She is followed closely by Harry’s younger sister, Gemma, who looks beautiful in her pastel dress which match the pastel tones in her long, chalked hair. But when Louis moves his eyes and smile beyond Gemma, his throat constricts as he gets his first look at Harry, arm-in-arm with his mum, Anne.

Harry had gone through a lot of changes in the 2 years they’d known each other. He’d shed his fear of intimacy and his fear of rejection along with the pounds he’d built up as his first line of defence. 

Harry is an absolute vision in tight, fitted black pants, a ruffled cream shirt and a long-line dark green velvet coat. He had never looked more beautiful and Louis literally felt his breath leave him.

“Holy shit.” mutters Niall from his position beside Louis.

Louis quietly whispers back, “I know.”, with a smile so bright that it causes Harry to duck his head for a moment to smile at his shiny black shoes.

Anne takes Harry’s hand and places it in Louis’ smaller ones and kisses both boys on the cheek with a slightly watery-eyed smile. 

“You look gorgeous, Haz.” whispers Louis.

Harry blushes before answering, “So do you, Lou, you look amazing. I’m so happy.”

The ceremony isn’t long but the boys have written their own vows with the specific intention of making the other cry. 

They succeed. 

After the ceremony and while surrounded by a haze of love and well-wishes from their families and friends, come the speeches. 

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming today to our wedding, thanks Anne and Gemma for supporting Harry and Niall and of course our Ruby for being the best flower girl.” started Louis. “Thanks also to my grandparents, Ken and Mary and my sister Tilly for always being here for us. 

Most of you know that in the last 2 years I’ve gone from carefree bachelor to orphan and single dad to Rube. I would not have made it through all those changes without the support of his man. Ruby and I honestly didn’t know what we were doing at first, I felt like I was constantly questioning, constantly asking for advice and help, constantly clueless. Harry’s the most gentle, funniest, quirkiest and most giving person I’ve ever met. Now that I’ve snared him,” Louis pauses to catch his breath as the audience laugh. 

“ I find I have an abundance of family where before I had mostly loss and sadness. I now have a mum and dad in Anne and Robin and an extra mum in Judy.”

Here Louis raises his glass towards Judy who is sitting with other staff from Harry’s school. “Judy, thankyou for your wisdom, your encouragement and your cooking lessons. I’m not at all sure that this wasn’t your plan right from the start but I thank you either way.” 

Louis takes a deep breath in before continuing, “To my lovely husband, I can’t imagine spending a day without you, I feel like every piece of me has a matching piece in you, that every question I’ve ever had is answered by you. I intend on reminding you every day how much I love you. You look ravishing, darling and I fully intend on ravishing you later.” Louis ends with a wink as everyone laughs and calls their cheers.

When Harry takes the microphone, his eyes are already tear-filled and it takes a few shaky moments for him to get it together, by which time most of the audience have joined him in wiping tears away surreptitiously.

“Um, well, hiiii everyone. Thanks for coming. I think most of you know how much Louis and Ruby mean to me so I chose a song to sing for each of them today and I just hope I don’t stuff it up.” The audience titter softly as Harry runs his hand through his curls in a way that Louis always finds so endearing.

A backing track starts up with John Legend’s “All of Me” and Harry, with his deep, raspy voice hammers every word home into Louis’ heart.

****

  
**  
**What would I do without your smart mouth?  
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out  
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down  
What's going on in that beautiful mind  
I'm on your magical mystery ride  
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright 

My head's under water  
But I'm breathing fine  
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind 

'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections  
Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you, ohoh 

How many times do I have to tell you  
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too  
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood  
You're my downfall, you're my muse  
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues  
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you 

My head's under water  
But I'm breathing fine  
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind 

'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections  
Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you, ohoh 

Give me all of you  
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts  
Risking it all, though it's hard 

'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections  
Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you 

I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you, ohoh  
  


Harry pauses to let the applause take over, then takes a deep breath and to look at Louis’ tear-filled eyes. “I love you, Louis, so much, and I promise I’ll love you with all of me, forever.”

Louis mouths, “I love you baby.” to the strains of guests blowing their noses or cooing. It’s proper romantic and Louis feels like he’s just won the fucking lottery. 

“Now I have a song for Princess Ruby, who brought Louis and I together. She’s come a long way since we first met and I’m so, so happy she’s let me into her life and, this is for you, Ruby.”

Harry hadn’t shared his song choices with Louis before the wedding and so when the familiar strains of the song started up, it was all Louis could do to avoid embarrassing himself with even more spectacular tears.

****

  
Isn't she lovely  
Isn't she wonderful  
Isn't she precious  
Less than one (decade) old  
I never thought through love we'd be  
(Loving) one as lovely as she  
But isn't she lovely made from love 

Isn't she pretty  
Truly the angel's best  
Boy, I'm so happy  
We have been heaven blessed  
I can't believe what God has done  
Through us he's given life to one  
But isn't she lovely made from love  
  


The song concludes with the sound of blowing noses and quiet applause while the grooms hug each other tightly, whispering soft words that promise forever into each others’ ears. No one notices the little girl standing up to the vacated microphone until she taps it.

“Hello? Hello? I’m Ruby and I’m nearly 10. I don’t have a Mummy or a Daddy anymore but my Grandma said they were watching from heaven today.” 

Ruby blows a kiss up at the sky as the guests are caught between smiling, laughing or crying. “My big brother Louis used to burn toast and we ate a lot of cereal, but now he can cook real good. But he wasn’t happy until he met Harry and they kissed.” 

Ruby pauses to giggle. “So now Mummy and Daddy would be really happy that I have Lou and Lou has Harry. And they both have ME!!! And I just want to say that my two Daddies are the best Daddies in the world and I love them a whole lot, even though they won’t take me on their honeymoon.” she ends with a pout which quickly turns into a giggle as she’s joined by Harry and Louis. 

So now, Louis and Harry stand up on either side of Ruby and hug her while kissing each other to the sound of glasses clinking and applause. Louis looks around at the room of people who love them, his eyes ending up on the profile of his handsome husband’s face and he knows that, together, they’ll always have the answers to each other’s questions, even the ones they didn’t know how to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I really appreciate comments especially what works/doesn't work :)


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